A quick look at what I’m currently reading and what books I have in my kindle queue.
No Alcohol: 60 Days
Yesterday, I hit 60 days without alcohol. I can’t remember the last time I went without alcohol for this long, so it’s a pretty big milestone for me.
How to build a strong point of view
If you want to live a fulfilled life, you need to be able to build strong points of view around topics that matter to your life. It leads to clear thinking and decision making. It also gives you actionable principles that help guide your life.
Naval Ravikant is a great example of someone who is good at this. Everything I listen to, or read by him is impressive. There’s an elegance and simplicity in how he thinks and makes decisions. He’s able to simplify his ideas down to the things that make a difference. They easily translate to actionable principles that he lives his life by.
So, what’s the best way to go about building a point of view around a particular topic?
I think the first step is to jump in with two feet. I appreciate that’s not particularly elegant, but you have to get started somewhere. Start to get a sense of the main types of ideas and approaches around the topic. Read books, listen to podcasts and watch videos. Follow people online and listen to their ideas.
This is where most people get overwhelmed and stuck. Because, for every topic, there’s a lot of different ideas. One way of not getting too stuck is to simply notice that you’re starting to. This becomes a trigger for the next step, which can help you narrow things down – look for smart people.
Why do you need to look for smart people? Because, at some point you need to go from having a shallow understanding of a large number of ideas, to a smaller set of the best ideas. And not just the best ideas – the ones which are right for you. Leveraging the knowledge of others will help narrow things down quickly.
Finding the smartest people around the topic that you’re interested in is the most difficult part. The good news is that we’ve never had more (and free) access to the smartest people and their ideas.
Look for people who aren’t primarily trying to sell you something. You want to find people who have strong points of view, and then their product or service just happens to help you get results. Avoid people who are building a point of view around what they are trying to sell.
Look for people who tend to stick to the basics and explain things in straight forward language. This is a good sign they actually know what they’re talking about.
Lastly, notice people who come highly recommended – preferably from a diverse group of people.
For example, when it comes to health and nutrition, I rely on Dr Rhonda Patrick’s opinion. She ticks all the boxes above. She sticks to the basics and explains things simply. She isn’t shaping what she recommends around products or services she offers. And she’s held in very high regard by her peers, and people outside of her peer group.
The goal is to settle on a handful of the brightest and most knowledgeable people whose point of view you trust. From there, the next step is to try and sort them into a point of view of your own.
If you’ve found the right people, you’ll notice there will be an overlap in their ideas. Their ideas will easily translate into core principles that you can apply to your life. Soon you’ll start to see a strong point of view of your own around the topic.
And just as things seem to click – there’s something that can trip you up. It will appear simpler than you expected. You’ll start to think, it can’t be this simple – I must have missed something?
But, most things ARE that simple. You have to fight against making things more complicated than they need to be. The rest is mostly noise that won’t make much difference. In fact, if it feels too simple, that’s a good sign that you’ve reached a solid point of view.
And then comes the last step. You have to implement these things into your life and try them for yourself. Notice your results and tweak however you need to. If you struggle to see results, you might need to go back to some of the earlier stages outlined above. Look for better people, and different ideas.
So, let’s recap. Jump in with two feet and get a sense of all the ideas around the topic. Don’t fall into the trap of getting overwhelmed. Then, start finding the smartest people in that area and sort out a point of view from their ideas. Implement them in your life and try them for yourself. Optimise from there.
There’s two more aspects of building a point of view I wanted to cover.
The first is that your point of view will become refined over time. This is good. Taking action and continuing to educate yourself will help you develop a more sophisticated point of view. Your goals might even change, which will further shift your point of view.
A good example of this, is my own investing strategy. I used to only invest in passive index funds. Over the last year or so I’ve been listening to people who are taking more risk. I’ve experimented a bit in this space and have decided I want to take on a bit more risk.
So, I’m transitioning to investing 80% in indexes and 20% in a handful of public companies with a long-term view. The foundations of my point of view are still there (I’m still mostly investing in indexes). But, how much risk I’m willing to take has changed and this ended up shifting my point of view and strategy for how I invest.
A quick word of warning about refining your point of view – it’s not just about exploring new ideas. There’s a huge amount of value to revisiting first principles once you understand the complexity of a topic. Regularly go back back to the foundations that your point of view is built around. Attempt to understand them more deeply. Often this can lead to unexpected breakthroughs.
The second aspect is that there’s a way to fast track the majority of the above steps. I hate the work ‘hack’ but this feels as good a use for the word as any. You can outsource the whole process and put your faith in one person and their ideas. Hire them to help you and just do what they say.
I did this recently for my physical training. Over the last few years, I’ve been finding myself increasingly getting injured. I reached the point where I knew something had to change. I had to find the root cause of why I was getting injured and work on it as my number one priority. I knew I didn’t have the knowledge to identify the root cause, or how to fix it. Yet, I wanted to work on fixing it ASAP.
Instead of following the steps above, I started to work with 1-2-1 with a coach. I put my full trust in him. He took the time to understand my goals, my issues and then set out a customised training program for me.
We’re on week four, and things are going great. I’m training four times a week and have had no niggles. In fact, my body feels great for it. What a difference!
You might be wondering, isn’t this against the case I made at the beginning? Didn’t I just skip building a point of view of my own entirely?
Not quite. Instead, I fast tracked the whole process. As I’ve been working with my coach, my point of view has been building. In just four weeks I better understand why I was getting injured and how to address my weaknesses. My view around the best way to train is changing.
Of course, the risk of doing this is that you’re putting your faith and trust in one person. So, take the time to make this decision a good one. Look for people with strong reputations and a proven track-record. Try and find people who come highly recommended by people you trust. Be prepared to pay well for it.
You might be thinking, this whole building a point of view thing is alot of effort! But, I guarantee it’s worth the effort.
It’s worth being good at building a strong point of view of your own around topics that matter to your life. It’s how you become wise and it helps you live a fulfilled life. So, how can you afford not to?
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Five things I’ve found to be super helpful in establishing new habits
Here are five things I’ve found to be super helpful in establishing new habits.
Make them visible
I have a few key habits that I like to do every day. Eat paleo, eat within an 8 hour window, consume roughly 2K calories, drink 3 litres of water, take my vitamins, and reach out to a couple of people.
I write them at the top of my daily planning page. This forces me to look at them frequently throughout the day – increasing my chances of sticking to them. It also encourages me to reflect on how I did, more than I would otherwise.
Don’t break the chain
I heard about the Seinfeld Strategy from James Clear. It’s surprisingly effective.
It’s as simple as having a wall calendar, and marking an X for every day you stick to your habit. It becomes very addictive to grow the chain, and not break it.
I use this for moderating how much alcohol I drink. I’m aiming for a once a week, with a two drink limit. And for the most part, it’s helping me stay on track.
Keep experimenting
I used to struggle to drink enough water. Then, one day I randomly decided to drink two 500ml bottles of water as the first thing I did after waking. It was a game changer. Not only did it put me at 33% of my daily goal within minutes – it also changed my behaviour. It was really easy to drink a 500ml bottle in one go. So, I just down a 500ml bottle of water each time I want a drink now. And I have the opposite problem – not going too far over 3 litres of water a day!
One at a time
It’s REALLY hard to try and establish multiple habits at the same time. Yet, it’s so easy to fall into this trap.
Be disciplined and pick one. Nail it properly, and then pick another. Trust me, there is plenty of time. If you successfully establish a handful of new habits per year, you’ll transform your life every year.
Start small
I’ve lost count of the times I’ve tried to establish really ambitious habits straight away. Inevitably, I do it for a few days (a few weeks at best), but then fall off the wagon.
Want to drink 3 litres of water a day? Start with a glass. Want to eat healthily every day? Start with just breakfast. Etc.
Then, once you’ve got these small new habits established, you can step it up from there.
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Return to work anxiety
I’ve felt anxious and low for the latter part of last week. It intensified at the weekend. It sort of came out of nowhere and completely zapped my energy. I found it really hard to be optimistic about the year ahead.
I’ve been trying to put my finger on why. I’m putting it down to three things:
- anticipating the mode switch (back to work) I was about to go into
- straying from self care fundamentals.
- the absence of a positive feedback loop
Being able to separate work and personal life is something I’ve worked really hard at. I’ve had a three week break over the holidays. I didn’t check an email or think much about work at all. I allowed myself to wake later, and didn’t try to structure my days and time much at all.
One of the challenges of switching off like this is moving between the modes can be harsh – especially when you take a decent amount of time off.
My mind started racing with all types of unreasonable expectations for work. I have to make the perfect start to the year. I have a responsibility to kick meetings off in a perfect way. I need to nail down a mid term plan for myself by the end of the week. I have to make progress on key projects. I’ve got to quickly set expectations on a bunch of things. etc. etc.
When, actually all I need to do is have more realistic expectations, and some compassion for myself. How about just let myself ease into the week? Talk to people, get some decent thoughts in place for my mid term priorities, and simply make the transition? And then build from there? How about having some trust in myself that I’ll be in a great place with everything at the end of January.
Straying from my self care fundamentals is also massive. For me they are minimising alcohol, getting enough sleep, being active, and eating real food. Three of them were pretty off over the holiday period, so it’s no wonder I was feeling the early signs of a low period. These got addressed from the beginning of this week.
And lastly, the absence of a positive feedback loop. I thrive when I have momentum and I’m able to see the results from my actions. If I go for too long without that, self doubt creeps in. I’m only three days back in, and I can feel it cranking back up again, and I’ll be fine.
What can I learn from this?
Well, the self care fundamentals are entirely in my control. I need to have a better plan for managing them when I go off a schedule. I can’t afford to neglect a few of them over a reasonable period of time. That’s an easy one.
As for the mode transition and positive feedback loop, I think it’s more of a mindset / mindfulness issue. There will always be times when I will take time away from work. I have to get better at being able to manage these transitions.
Simply being aware I’m having these feelings is the first step. Allowing myself to sit with the feelings and to see them for what they are – for the most part, stories in my head that never materialise. And then letting them go. That’s definitely something I can practice.
If you’ve felt anxious or low about returning to work – know that it’s completely reasonable and OK. Have some self compression and give yourself a break. Notice and question unrealistic expectations. And lean into the year – take it one step at a time.
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Self Care
When I was younger, I felt invincible. I partied hard with friends almost every weekend. ‘Sleep is for losers’ I would tell people – ‘I only get 5 hours a night!’
I’d go to bed exhausted on a Sunday evening. But, on Monday I was always in the office at 6.00 am, preparing for the week ahead. And from 09.00am, I was straight into the flow of management meetings and execution.
The power of self examination – and how it leads to the best version of yourself
Naval Ravikant was back on the Tim Ferriss podcast last week. It was one of the best podcasts I’ve listened to – he totally knocked it out of the park.
The interview is packed with great insights for how to think about life. It’s a must listen.
Naval has a skill of being able to say something, which causes you to pause and go ‘huh?’. I’ve written about this before in Wait, our whole life is just a firefly blinking once in the night? (which I still read a couple of times a month).
I wanted to share part of the podcast where Naval talks about the power of self examination. This really resonated with me. And I’ve since had an insight about it (which I’ll also share below).
Here’s the section:
“Proper meditation – proper examination, should ruin the life that you’re currently living. It should cause you to leave relationships. It should cause you to re-establish boundaries with family members and with colleagues. It should cause you to quit your job. It should cause you to change your eating patterns. It should cause you to spend more time with yourself. It should cause you to change which books you read. It should cause you to change who your friends are. If it doesn’t do that – it’s not real examination. If it doesn’t come attached with instruction of your current life, then you can’t create the new life – in which you will not have the anxiety.”
It’s a very powerful reminder for me on how important it is to spend time working on ourselves.
Working on yourself requires solitude, so you can reflect and think deeply about things. If you don’t have a structure or process that helps facilitate regular self examination – that’s really something to think about. It might be one of the most important things you can do to transform your life.
And that leads me to my insight. I’ve always struggled to give advice on how to build self awareness. I could never quite put my finger on it.
And then I realised that regular self examination is one of the best ways to build self awareness. It forces you to confront things about yourself and your life. Over time, that will train you to become much more self aware, and take action. It’s this flywheel of self examination, self awareness and action that puts you on the path to becoming the best version of yourself.
The more I thought about it, I like to think I have quite a high level of self awareness. And it’s no coincidence that I’ve had a structure of regular self examination for over 15 years now. And it makes sense that this has helped build self awareness over time.
I mentioned last week that I’m shortly going to be launching a 121 coaching program (Get Unstuck) for one or two people. The first part of the program is almost entirely focused on a self examination. This will be transformative in itself. This then becomes the heart of a system taught in the second part, that helps you actually get things (and the right things) done. But, more on all of that soon.
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Daily Habits – My eight month journey
I built 80%+ consistency with six health habits, over eight months. Below is my journey over those eight months:
Daily Habits: February 2022 (first month under the belt)
Daily Habits: March 2022 (I have a baseline!)
Daily Habits: April 2022 (this is a game changer!)
Daily Habits: May 2022 (fell short, but still a big step forward)
Daily Habits: June 2022 (oooh, that was close!)
Daily Habits: July 2022 (in a strong place now)
Daily Habits: August 2022 (Uh oh, have I lost it?)
Daily Habits: September 2022 (Whoa, I didn’t expect this!)
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My new coaching program – Get Unstuck
I was helping someone last week who was struggling with their work life balance. They were frustrated and upset.
Work was overpowering everything else in their life. Ironically, it was an intentional (ish) choice for them to double down on their work. It helped distract them from some other things that were going on in their life.
We talked about their priorities at work – and where the boundaries should be between work and the rest of their life. We also talked about what things had to be prioritised either higher, or as high as work. Things like health, a few relationships, a specific issue in their life, and some time to switch off. We talked about strategies to make that happen.
I know exactly what it’s like for work to overpower everything else in your life. I struggled with this for a long time. I felt like a failure for not being able to get any ONE, single area of my life in good shape. I was unhappy and overwhelmed most of the time
All that happens in this scenario, is you slowly (sometimes quickly) move towards a place where things fall apart. You can only neglect other important things in your life for so long – before something breaks. It’s rarely worth it, and sometimes what breaks, is unrepairable.
At some point you have to do the hard work to figure out what’s important in your life. You have to make a commitment to live those priorities. And then you have to figure out a way of organising your life so you can do that.
I finally figured this out a few years ago, and it changed my life. I moved away from being so goal orientated in my life. I let go of being obsessed with my work.
Don’t get me wrong – work will always be a big part of my life. I will always strive to be as effective and impactful as I can be. But, I know where the line is. And I know what else in my life is either more important, or as important than work.
Your priorities are your actions. If you’re spending a lot of time working, and you’re never exercising – then work is your priority and exercise is not a priority. It’s as simple as that.
I’ve been working on a 121 coaching program for the last year or so that will help people solve this exact problem. In fact, I’ve already taken someone through the program, and it’s been transformative for them.
I’m calling the program ‘Get Unstuck’ and am launching it at the end of October. There will only be one or two places to begin with.
This is because I will invest a lot of my time with each person throughout the program. It’s a 121 personalised coaching program that runs over an 8 week period. And there will be as much support as you need between the sessions.
If you struggle to balance a successful career and a life of your own, feel overwhelmed and like you’re failing at EVERYTHING – I guarantee it will be life changing.
If you want to be notified when I’m ready to start working with a couple of people, make sure you’re on my email list. And if you know of someone who might be interested – I would super appreciate it if you would point them in my direction.
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The bizarre, but very effective way I use social media (and a list of really cool people to follow)
The Social Dilemma documentary is doing the rounds at the moment. It’s about a bunch of tech executives from Silicon Valley, who highlight the consequences of our growing dependence on social media.
It’s eye opening for many, but nothing new to me. I’ve felt for a very long time that the benefits of using social media are vastly outweighed by the negatives. Over the last few years it’s made me drastically change how I use social media.
But, why do I even use it at all if it’s so bad?
Two reasons. 1. To learn and be inspired by smart people, and 2. to discover content (articles, podcasts, videos etc.). Every week I get some new ideas, and stumble across a handful of articles, videos or podcasts.
This makes me very clear on my use case for social media. I know the exact, and only value I want out of it. I don’t want to keep tabs on what friends and family are doing. I don’t want the news. I don’t want suggestions for things I might like. I don’t want someone else (or an algorithm) deciding what I should see, from who I follow. I don’t want to have discussions with people. I don’t want to see other people having discussions (or arguing).
Over time I’ve gravitated towards an effective way of getting exactly the value I want out of social media – with none of what I don’t want.
Here’s how I do it:
I don’t have any social media accounts. I stopped using facebook entirely about ten years ago. I deleted my Instagram account about a year ago. And I deleted my Twitter account about a month ago.
I have curated a list of people to follow on Instagram and Twitter – twelve people on each (that’s just a coincidence, not a target number!). I chose these people really carefully, based on:
- They all fit in with my use case. one way or another. I learn, and get ideas from them. I get inspired by them. They share content (articles, videos, podcasts) that I want to see.
- They post at a frequency that’s easy to keep up with their ideas
- The ratio of posts that are useful to me is very high.
My curated list of people to follow changes from time to time. Someone might retweet or repost something from someone who looks super interesting. When that happens, I check out their profile and recent posts. I then might decide to add them to the list of people I follow. Sometimes a person I follow will drift outside of the criteria I have (their posts are less useful to me, they post too frequently, or the ratio of posts that are useful to me gets too low). And then I remove them.
Every Sunday, I spend about 30 mins going through the last week’s posts and tweets from my curated list of people. I have two google chrome bookmark folders (one for Instagram and one for Twitter), where I save each person’s profile. It takes just one click to open up each profile in a separate tab (this is important because I bypass the feed). And that’s my 30 min social media fix for the week.
On average I tend to get at least a handful of articles to read. I send these to my kindle to read later using the Send to Kindle for Google Chrome extension. I also stumble across one or two videos / podcasts, which I save to listen to later. And in general, I get exposed to some good ideas via the tweets and posts themselves.
It’s worth noting that saving content to consume later is important. It helps me keep the social media session focused and short. I then consume the useful content when I am in that mode, and have more time later.
So, in summary. No social media accounts. No feed. A careful curated list of people to follow. 30 mins in total usage per week – in one session. Exposure to a bunch of good ideas, articles, videos and podcasts.
The only exception is Linkedin. I do have an account. I use it strictly to post ideas, links to my articles, and respond to anyone who comments. I resist using the feed for the reasons above (although I get caught sometimes and remind myself why I shouldn’t use it!)
I’ll leave you with a list of the people I keep up with on Instagram and Twitter. They’re all great in their own way:
Twitter:
Mr Money Moustache – rich guy, retired early and living the life he wants
Tim Urban (Wait but Why) – writes and says really interesting stuff
Seth Godin – entrepreneur, best selling author, and marketer
Brandon Stanton (Humans of New York) – writes short, interesting and heartfelt stories about people
Chris Kresser – author, paleo / healthy lifestyle advocate
Brad Stulberg – simple, great self improvement tips
James Clear – best selling author of Atomic Habits
AVC (Fred Wilson) – popular venture capitalist, and all round smart guy
Jason Fried – founder & CEO at Basecamp
Sam Altman – entrepreneur, investor, former president of Y Combinator, CEO of OpenAI
Paul Graham – programmer, writer (one my favourites), investor, and founder of Y Combinator
Chamath Palihapitiya – investor, Chairman of VirginGalactic, Owner @Warriors
Jesse Itzler – billionaire entrepreneur, awesome Dad, and living life to the max
Ben Bergeron – Crossfit coach and business owner
David Goggins – ex navy seal and possibly a superhuman
Mat Fraser – fittest man on earth
Amelia Boone – obstacle racing world champion and ultrarunner
Laird Hamilton – big wave surfer
Crossfit Training – training tips from Crossfit
Sevan Matossian – on the CrossFit Media team, and kick ass Dad
Adrian Bozman – Crossfit training guy
Will Smith – small time actor 😉
Jaden Smith – small time actor’s son!
Luka Hocevar – interesting fitness dude and business owner
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